So I'm just in this super weird funk right now ... not entirely sure how to get out of it; but, I am sure that I probably don't want to get into too much detail on here! Hah, but this can at least be some sort of superficial outlet where I can actually address what I'm feeling and then just move on from there.

It's human nature to feel the desire to be heard - the desperate longing for acceptance and a listening ear. I try to pride myself on being a good listener and giving other people the chance to share their life experiences with me. Maybe I haven't been the best implementer of this as of late, but I've sure tried to be. I mean, the best interviewers or the best "conversationalists" really are just trying to facilitate your own discussions - they want to give you the chance to completely unload. It gives them a better understanding of how to react to you in the future; and, I mean, who doesn't want to talk about themselves, remember? Maybe that's what I need to be doing right now ... focusing on others instead of trying to internalize my emotions and just stay up all dang night for no reason. I should have at least tried to get some PS3 in there or something.

So work has been going great - I've gotten the opportunity to be involved in an industry that could take me places ... or spit me off to the side. Like any professional service, you're only as good as your last project; and, it's incredibly important that everything goes off without a hitch. I'm just looking forward to more responsibility and that added pressure of needing to deliver results immediately - working on weekends, w/e it takes. It's just another step and I am going to be coming to a crossroads before too long that is going to have a major impact on how the rest of my life goes. Do I take the road with money in mind or do I take the road with family in mind? I guess they don't have to mutually exclusive, but it just seems like that's a direction things are going. I would sure be a fool to take the money road - who knows?

I was just thinking the other day about a status update that a friend of mine posted ... something basically saying that anyone you interact with had to struggle to get out of bed this morning, or they are about to lose their job, lose their girlfriend, etc - everyone has problems, but what makes you successful is how you can react to those problems in a positive way and create accomplishment and growth through failure and pain. Do I do a good job of doing that? Probably not ... as I was saying earlier, on days like today I'm just so focused on myself that I forget the bigger picture. There's a huge world out there; and, in the grand scheme of things, my issues and insecurities and frustrations are so minuscule that they don't even show up on the radar. I guess that was the point of this set of incoherent and only slightly legitimate thoughts. Idk what is going to happen in my future, but let's talk about yours? (Thank God no one actually reads this ...)